Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
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