that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
