Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
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