didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
