We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
false alarm. still invincible.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Randomize
