all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Houston, we have a squirter
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
