Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
