She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
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