Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Randomize
