"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
nutella sex= disaster
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
