The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
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