we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
