what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
