he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
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