Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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