I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
So much Jack, so little girl.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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