then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
