i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize
