It's Friday. Sex?
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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