if i died would you start the facebook group?
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
