Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I'm jealous of your bromance
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Randomize
