Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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