Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
i now understand why vodka
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize
