Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
