1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
we're so committed to being not committed
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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