I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
You pole danced in your parka.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
