Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
