We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Randomize
