Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
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