3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
