then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
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