went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
