so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Randomize
