well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
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