Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
