He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Pooping to opera.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
