Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
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