I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Randomize
