Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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