Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
