i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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