did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
