Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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