I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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