just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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