i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
