5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
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