i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
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