Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
