Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
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