so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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