I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
