I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
