He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Randomize
