If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Randomize
